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[02 May 2008|03:46am] |
I should've done 30 instead of 15. That probably would've made a difference.
Maybe I should've pushed harder.
Her back could've been more aligned with the board.
I should've started the second I saw her.
I understand it but I don't.
I never was ok with failure. ...especially not now.
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[02 Dec 2007|10:04pm] |
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germany623: hey it's dave melnick. i don't know if you remember me, but once upon a time, we were the best stand partners that ever lived. anyway, i just was writing because, i'm studing abroad in ireland right now. which isn't the important part of the story. i just had to message you because, obviously, ireland is part of the 'celtic' world, and the other day in one of my classes, my professor kept saying the word, "celtic," and suddenly (and quite randomly) i thought of the time we were wondering about weather the word was pronounced with a hard or soft 'c', and then you were like, "it could be 'ch-eltic', like cello" and i just started dying with laughter. so i'm in class, in ireland, 4000 miles away from the orchestra room, and i was laughing at THAT conversation from 2003. anywho, it made me think of you, and i just wanted to message you and say hello, and say that i hope all is wonderful with you! i miss you! ahh that made my day.
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[20 Oct 2007|03:56pm] |
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 bored |
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Am I the only person in the world that likes candycorn?? I do hate the large pumpkin candy things, though.
I'm bored. And home alone. People need to hurry it on up.
♥JANUARY♥
1. Who kissed you on new years?
natester.
2. Did you have a new year's resolution this year?
i've only had new year's resolutions when i've been made to write about them for school.
3. Does it snow where you live?
typically.
4. Do you like hot chocolate?
eh, if it's thick, then i can only take a few sips before i'm full.
5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
negative.
♥FEBRUARY♥
1. Who was your Valentine?
natester.
2. When you were little did you buy Valentine's for the whole class?
i had to.
3. Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?
nah.
♥MARCH♥
1. Are you Irish?
a lot.
2.Do you like corned beef and cabbage?
eww.
3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2007?
i don't remember... i drank, somewhere with people.
4. Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
yea, i like spring.
♥APRIL♥
1. Do you like the rain?
yes, unless it ruins plans i had of being outside.
2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year?
no.
3. Do you get tons of candy on Easter?
from arlen.
4. Do you celebrate 4/20?
no.
5. Do you love the month of april?
no.
♥MAY♥
1. What is your favorite flower?
orchids. they last really long and they're just pretty.
2. Finish the phrase "April showers...":
seriously? duh.
3. Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day?
never heard of it, but it is brian's birthday, so i celebrate that.
4. Is May anything special to you?
it's my favorite month, weather-wise.
♥JUNE♥
1. What year did/will you graduate from high school?
03
2. Did you do anything fun during this month?
basically everyday/night was something fun.
3. Have a favorite baseball team?
phils, but they usually disappoint me so i try not to care.
♥JULY♥
1. What did you do on the 4th of July?
kara's. vince splashed beer and my face and later handcuffed me.
2. Did you go to the fireworks?
about ten of us piled into the van to go see them, but it started raining and we got lost.
3. Do you blast the A/C all day?
no.
♥AUGUST♥
1. Did you doing anything special at the end of your summer?
not really.
2. What was your favorite summer memory of '07?
there was a lot.
3. Did you have a sunburn?
no.
4. Did you go to the pool a lot?
no.
♥SEPTEMBER♥
1. Will you be attending college/school?
september's over.
2. Do you like fall better than summer?
i like the weather better, so i guess.
♥OCTOBER♥
1. What was your last Halloween costume?
i don't remember the last time i dressed up.
2. What is your favorite candy?
peanut m&ms.
3. What is your favorite thing about this month?
horror movies galor!! and the decorations.
♥NOVEMBER♥
1. Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving?
mine.
2. What are you thankful for?
stuff.
3. Do you love stuffing?
my mom's.
♥DECEMBER♥
1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
yes.
2. Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe?
yes.
3. Get anything special last year?
nothing majorly odd or bad happened, so that was awesome.
4. What do you want this year?
fotc on dvd and ep. and about 7 bras. and the red peacoat from delias. the end.
5. Do you like cold weather?
sometimes.
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[06 Sep 2007|08:17pm] |
Kayle peed all over my leg tonight... through her diaper.
Then procedes to yell, "I peed on your lap!".
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| oh lawd. |
[30 Aug 2007|12:23am] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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I found the disk with my AP Bio final paper on it... from 12th grade. And the following concluded the paper:
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS First, I would like to thank the "dahling" Ms. Savidge for providing me with numerous packets of information on my topic, and for just generally making this school year a fun one (*tear*). I would like to thank the honorable people at the World Health Organization for making my search for information more convenient. Mr. Stipp, Mr. Guterl, I could not have done this paper without their lovely papers on my topic. And finally I would like to thank Jen Alexander, Justine Adams, and Katey Walsh for providing me company in the library while I worked on this paper and for protecting me from the dreaded "library troll". Also, Ms. Savidge, congratulations on reading possibly the longest paper you have received.
I don't even remember writing any of that paper, probably because I've written over a hundred since then. She must have informed us to write such a section, and I probably just took advantage of it to suck up to her. ...and to further demean the librarian, in writing.
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[23 Aug 2007|07:03pm] |
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Some 12-15 year old kid called me "babycakes" this morning. I laughed.
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[09 Aug 2007|03:52am] |
I can't fucking fall asleep, but I am incredibly tired. I hate that feeling of being tired yet nonproductive because the one thing you should be doing is sleeping... but that's clearly not happening. I have to get up in less than four hours to go cater to the slobbering beast also known as Socks.
My blue labret ball fell down the drain this morning as I was brusthing my teeth. Needless to say, I'm devastated... more like a bit disappointed, but oh well.
I'm quite comfortable with the fact that this is somewhat incoherent... such is life.
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[25 Jul 2007|06:26am] |
I've been having dreams lately about REL being alive, and then dying again. And everytime I wake up it hurts.
I know he's just a dog, but I can also assume a lot of people would feel the same way if their own pets died.
I dunno, things suck lately ...like my own sister not talking to me because of a super-long story, and threatening to never let me or anyone see my nephew again, the kid I love more than almost anything else in the world.
I should just rip my heart out now...
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| Bored out of my fah-riggen mind. |
[03 Jul 2007|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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1. Nothing entertains me anymore. Nothing.
2. I don't think I've been excited since 1997. (Slight exagerration, but it has been really long.)
3. I need to find a hospital/dr's office/nursing home/whatever that's hiring, because I need a FT job...now.
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[14 May 2007|01:04am] |
There's a good possibility I might not see Patrick again until, at earliest, February 2008.
That is so disheartening it makes me nauseous.
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[14 Mar 2007|11:45pm] |
i got to see a c-section, someone get diagnosed with chlamydia and impacted fallopian tubes, and a vein being removed from a left leg and harvested in place of an artery in a right leg all in one day. and then someone mentions some complete nonsense concerning the war in iraq causing less soldier deaths than deaths during clinton's administration which was a "peaceful time" and i immediately started ranting off about basically everything related to politics. then i further regretted ever changing my major.
i wish my lovely ability to argue was brought to my attention at an earlier age rather than within the last few years. ...maybe i wouldnt be so confused.
that is probably so incoherent i dont even want to look at it.
i need sleep.
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[13 Feb 2007|02:18pm] |
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i think im gonna be sick.
and i think i just discovered how much i really hate myself.
...i think im hating the wrong person.
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[14 Jan 2007|01:11am] |
Circa Survive posted this on their site... and it basically sums up what i was thinking, and its a lot easier to simply copy and paste this than write out some long, anger-driven entry at 1am:
Conspiracy?
Disclaimer: this is about fucking sports.
I'd like to send a congratulations out to the new orleans saints who are well on their way to the Conspiracy Bowl this year. I don't want to sound bitter, :), so I'll keep this short.
Has anyone ever watched a football game where a shitload of penalties were called against one team and then the tv station didn't replay those plays at all? hm. fishy.
Let's think about this for a second though. It's interesting to me that the yankees just happened to start kicking ass after 9/11. ? And now New Orleans suddenly has enough going for them to make it this far into the playoffs. Coincidence. maybe. And I'm clearly not saying that the Saints don't have the players in order. Actually, I think that the Saints are the best team in the NFL this year, if not the Chargers, but... that's part of it. Did the stars just suddenly align for them? Is it really fate? or is there something else going on here?
And if it is a conspiracy should i be pissed about it. I mean, don't the people of new orleans deserve some feeling of strength and positivity after what they've just been through. We did not just go through that in Philly that's for sure, and I have no concept of what it would even be like to have lived that nightmare.
So anyway, to Philly. We have a great fucking team. And just because they didn't win the superbowl doesn't mean it wasn't a great year. I hate watching Philly games sometimes because it seems like the crowd turns on the team so quickly and starts booing. That's bullshit. We need to keep it real out there. To the Saint's hey you better get it done or i will straight fight you bitches in a dark alley. I would hate to think this isn't a conspiracy because I know we definitely could have taken that game. Yeah I know I'm not on the team but, it's still we.
Anyway, haha. people are probably reading this like, "what the fuck? sports?" yes! FUCKING SPORTS! Now go to bed.
We've got some fuckin jams to kick out.
Brendan
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| Long overdue. |
[07 Jan 2007|11:09pm] |
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I practically forgot I even had this thing. I might as well update it with something that has substance before I forget everything.
Ummm christmas was good. Very good when I think about how two years ago on Christmas eve i ran over a kid, and last year i was doped up on drugs from the surgery. Anyway, my mom came back for a few days before Christmas. I hadnt talked to her since March 13th with the exception of one time she came to visit and came into my room for about thirty seconds and nothing was really said. She got me a nice coat I didnt really need since I just bought one, but I like it, and a picture frame with pictures of patrick and me in it... i miss him. And of course she got me underwear, but I made the mistake of letting Kayle help me open my gifts so she took em out of the box and handed em to steph and held the others up. Fab. (Aaron has a mask of the burger king king on his wall, and people kept putting it on to scare kayle, because she'll point at you and yell "no" and "youre mean". Cute.)
I got a good deal of money/gift cards for best buy from people. Arlen surprised nathan and i by getting me this weird tshirt with skulls and random words on it. I like it. I think Nathan gave me 6 cds, 6 movies, five shirts, a book on nursing (not breast feeding), a few small things, and about 17 things from victoria's secret to add to what Kayle already put on display.
New Year's was really good. Party at Aaron's, Christen's hotel party, guitar hero 2 tournament, beer pong tournament, lots of people I highly enjoyed, it was nice. Easily my most favorite new years to date. Bri M. didn't harass me for a change. No one was crucifying my cat for being a cat this year. There were disputes over who knew me longer between certain people (aka gino and jessie). Made absolutely no sense but its funny reasoning with drunk people. Certain... high school "stalkers" were at the diner/hotel party. Skeevy. I'll leave it at that. Some guy chased us down the hall asking for "cigs". Why is it when people say they dont have cigarettes because they dont smoke, people either dont believe them or call them losers or something gay? I dont get that. Yea this is all over the place.
Nathan left for Mexico Tuesday morning. And of course he doesnt get back til the day before the semester begins. That's real cool. Yeaa I miss him. Especially the other night at the landmark... it felt weird being at a bar without him... and it allowed people to assume i was single which makes me uncomfortable... for obvious reasons.
I think I'm going to New York on Tuesday for Christen's birthday. I'm excited... then I remember I have to pay about $4000 for school in the next week and I dont have the balls to ask my dad for a little bit of help, and my stomach churns. Ugh.
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[02 Dec 2006|06:31pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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"Are you alright?"
"Yea."
*sound of disgust*
"What?"
"I was just asking if you were alright!"
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!
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| my chest hurtsss eh |
[29 Oct 2006|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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Saw 3 = incredibly disappointing.
Helena called me a princess behind my back then made the fatal mistake of referring to me as "little queen heather" to brandon of all people.
Needless to say, my dad flipped on her. All she had to say was "i shouldn't have made that remark to brandon" (note: she doesnt regret saying it, just the fact that she said it to brandon) and "well, she had me in tears yesterday" before my dad apparently made it known to her that the only thing I did wrong was apologizing to her. Then she goes and tells Kathy to "spend time with your little family", and kathy didnt catch on to the "little" comment being an insult, until my dad brought her attention to it. Basically, she's fired, and aware of it, but for some reason, she left all of her shit in the guest room. So that pisses me off.
We went out to dinner Friday night to discuss her psychotic nature. Aka a family meeting. Later we saw Saw 3, and if you refer to above, you can get my overall opinion of it.
There was a "Halloween" party at Nathan's apartment, which I highly enjoyed. There was an overwhelming amount of hootches though, that would not move from the hallway outside Nathan's room, which was extra annoying. I was enlightened as to how many college-aged guys wear black jockey shorts... too many. I was consulted about my wise knowledge of what girls like from guys and what guys should do when they like girls and the such. I felt special... and kinda surprised that certain things were not already obvious to the male gender. Spent the night. I kicked Nathan's ass in mortal kombat 13-1 whilst Pete and Tom watched. I'm not gonna shove that in his face though... anymore. :-) It was a very enjoyable weekend.
And there's a new ATHF on tonight. Amazing.
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| it is really cold in here. |
[27 Oct 2006|12:10am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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Minor review of all the bullshit I'm currently experiencing:
September had a stroke. She is fourteen years old, so it's not a total shock. She's doing a lot better already, so we're just keeping her heavily medicated.
I dread Tuesdays and Wednesdays anymore. They're depressing... the process of dying isn't as easy to deal with as expected. At least I'm almost positive about what I want to do with my life. It's just going to take an additional 3 or 4 years of school. I'll get there eventually... it's worth it for forensics.
I've been consistently sick for over a week. My patient asked if I was pregnant... apparently she thought it could be morning sickness. hahaaaa cute.
Nathan suggested the idea of being raggedy ann and andy for halloween. I shot that idea down. haha.
The hospital and doctors office completely fucked up my blood work and now I'm being charged over $1200, which is total bullshit, and I'll probably go and punch every person that fucked it up in the face before ever paying it.
Here's the good one:
Helena and I got into an argument this morning.
I made her cry. It probably wasn't genuine considering how fake and vindictive she is, but I apologized anyway.
Everyone was happy I made her cry. And no one really understood why I apologized. ...neither do I.
I should confront people more often when I have problems with them... or they're just being dickheads. It's such a fucking good feeling.
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| procrastination. |
[23 Oct 2006|12:23am] |
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mood |
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lazy |
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I've been sick. And getting other people sick. I'm pretty sure I caught something from the clinical patients. Not cool... at all.
Jeffrey won pr, making up for daniel v. losing last year... at least a little bit... chloe sucks. rambling.
Went to eastern state friday night. Brief summary: I saw Kimba there. (I knew she lived in philly, but holy hell, i never expected to see certain people again, and she was one of them. I just find it incredibly odd that of all the people to run into... kimba.... hmm.) Chuckles screamed a lot. Nathan was the big man and lead the way... and then the rest of the train realized, "hey, people wont pop out at the first person really, they usually wait til the middle or last person". The entire time I just kept examining the walls for cracks so I knew where people would come out, thus, inhibitting the possibility of being startled. I found the architecture to be much more frightening anyway. And I bought a carmel apple..sweet.
The Prestige is a good movie, fyi.
And Nathan turned 21, as previous entry stated.
Now would be a good time to get back to studying i suppose.... ghey.
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[16 Oct 2006|12:00am] |
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HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY NATHAN E. HAAG!
Congratulations on reaching the big 2-1. You are finally old enough to get legally wasted at your own discretion like all the cool people do. Even though I'm not there to celebrate this monumental occasion with you, I hope you have the best birthday a young boy could ever ask for. I will miss criticizing the Bush Administration with you, as well as yelling at you for messing up my sheets, and leaving a million things on my window sill (ps you forgot those damn pens again... as well as something else ;-) ), and kicking your ass at p'diddle, and taking my restlessness out on your face, and kissing your forehead every 2.5 seconds, constantly moving my cars out front to prevent the obnoxious twit from stealing my spot everyday, mocking the northern boar's accent, applauding you when you bathe, having you protect me from viewing underwater scenes (even the non-threatening ones), doughnuts by candlelight, eating taco bell in wendy's parking lot, "playing" in the woods, horrorfest, tubajizz, rape in disneyworld, watching project runway and lost, violent tickling that leads to bloody wrestling, laughing at your several dead-on impressions (especially the one of the shark from family guy-- friggen genius), simply joking around and getting to hear that contagious laugh of yours, and this list could go on for days so I'm gonna wrap it up. Oh, and thanks for being my best friend as well as boy(friend).
No one can make me smile like you, and I hope you smile as much as possible today because you deserve it.
I absolutely love and miss you!!
Hobble & Nay-Nay for-ev-errrrrr.
-Heathbutt-
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sloppyeyes's journal
We miss you more than anything.